Submission causes the most misunderstandings among Christians. This will be covered over the next 3 lessons. Common questions in reference to obedience and submission are:
Is Obedience unconditional?
What if I don’t agree with my leader’s decisions?
What if authority is making bad decisions?
What if authority tells me to do something wrong?
Where do I draw the line?
These are very good questions that must be answered to be able to confidently submit to authority. Hebrews 13:17 says, “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.”
The writer of this passage is telling us to do two things (1) obey those who rule over us; and (2) to be submissive to those who rule over us. These are two very different things, and where many get confused. We can obey and not be submissive.
John gives us an example. “I worked for a large church in the southern part of the United States after a short career in my engineering field. I served there four and a half years as a personal assistant to the pastor. It was a wonderful learning position, and the first year I was often overwhelmed that God would allow me to serve in this capacity in His kingdom. I remember thinking, I should pay Him for letting me do this. This honeymoon phase lasted for about a year before it began to fade, at first subtly, then it turned into a rapid decline.
The closer I got, the more flaws I saw. The newness and excitement no longer worked as camouflage. I was having a hard time reasoning away some of what I witnessed. It wasn’t long before these images began to overwhelm me. I was disagreeing more often then not with the way things were being done, the way problems were handled and the decisions that were made.
Comments were made that seemed no different from the cutting remarks I’d heard in corporate America. If those mentioned were employees, I knew it was but a matter of time before they’d be fired or forced to leave on their own. Too often they were replaced by those I considered to be smooth talking, deceptive people. Most of the newcomers seemed to be slipping into management of other key positions. My pastor seemed to enjoy being around these people more than the godly ones. He laughed and giggled at their off-color comments, yet acted disinterested and distracted in the company of sincere believers. I was baffled by his behavior, and I soon became critical.
There were other discrepancies, and I focused on all of them. It was an international ministry, which was highly visible in the United States. All of the programs required a lot of manpower and money to keep the machines rolling. We had a staff of more than 250, and we possessed state-of-the-art everything. Consultants were brought in to help raise more money for the existing programs and for future ideas. I was responsible for hosting them. Alone in their company, I heard discussions of their meetings with my pastor. I would question within myself, ‘Is this big business or ministry?’ The more I heard, the more I thought, ‘This is deceptive. Do these guys really care about people, or are they just in this for the money? Why would my pastor surround himself with these men?’
The whole time, I was surrounded by friends who were as critical as I was. I distinctly remember dinner at one couple’s house. Both of us guys reported directly to the pastor and his wife. We discussed how we were not receiving any longer from the ministry. I remember saying, ‘For the last six months I haven’t gotten anything out of what is being preached from the pulpit.’ We all agreed, except my wife, who kept quiet.
I repeatedly heard the statement, ‘We just aren’t getting fed any longer.’ We agreed our time of serving in this ministry was coming to a close. We felt very spiritual about the whole issue and were convinced God was preparing to release us into the ministries He’d ordained for us. There was a confident sense among us that our days were coming to a close at our posts, and we were on the verge of promotion.
A few days later while I was in prayer, God in His mercy brought to mind the issue we’d discussed at the couple’s house. The phrase ‘not being fed’ was not isolated to that evening, but continued to loudly frequent my thoughts, even as I sat under my pastor’s preaching at each service. As I was pondering my present starvation from ‘not being fed,’ the Holy Spirit firmly informed me, ‘the problem is not with your pastor. The problem is with you!’
I was stunned and almost in disbelief: Would God say this to me? In the past when I experienced this type of correction, many times I would hesitate a moment and challenge the accuracy of what I had heard. My mind questioned, ‘Are You sure You have the right person?’ (As we mature, this questioning should happen less frequently because we come to realize just how little we really know.)
I questioned aloud, ‘Why is the problem with me?’
The Lord responded, ‘You keep bringing up the lack of being fed. The book of Isaiah states, “if you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword.”(1:19-20).’
I knew this scripture quite well and thought, I have been very obedient. But the Holy Spirit continued, ‘You obey everything you’re told to do in this ministry, but I did not say, “if your obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;” I said, “if you are willing and obedient…,” and willingness deals with your attitude. And your attitude stinks!’
Then He reminded me that when I was in high school, before I was born again, my favorite Wednesday night TV show was Baretta. Garbage day was Thursday, and the pickup was very early. The trash had to be taken out the night before, and that was my responsibility. It seemed that each week my mom would come in right at the climax of the program and ask, “Son, did you take out the garbage yet?”
My response would be, “Not yet.”
My mom would say, “I want you to get up and take it out this moment.”
I would respond, “yes, ma’am,” and do it.
If anyone observed my behavior, he might have commented on my obedience and been accurate. Yet under my breath I was sharply complaining, “I can’t believe she always tells me to do this right in the middle of my favorite TV show. Why cant she wait ten minutes until the program’s over?”
The Holy Spirit said, “you were obedient, but you were not willing. Your attitude toward your mother was not right. The reason you are not being fed (eating of the good of My kingdom) in this church is that though you are obedient, you are not willing!”
I saw how my attitude toward my pastor had brought me to this place of not receiving from God as well as leading me into dangerous territory. Hebrews 13:17 concludes with these words: “For that would be unprofitable for you.”
My eyes were open. I repented right away. The following Sunday I attended the same church, sat in the same seat, and listened to the same pastor teach the same series. But that morning everything was different. The heavens opened up, and I was astonished by the revelation God gave me through my pastor’s teaching. I sat almost in tears, wondering what I’d missed the previous six months because of my bad attitude toward the authority that God had put me under.
When we are not submissive to our delegated authorities, we resist God’s authority because they are appointed by Him! God wants us to be able to freely enjoy and benefit from the banqueting table He prepares for us through those He provides for us.
Obedience deals with our responsive ‘actions’ toward authority. Submission deals with our ‘attitude’ toward authority. This is where most of us miss it. God looks at our outward actions and at the hidden attitude of our hearts. David spoke these words to his son Solomon when transferring the throne to him: “As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a ‘willing mind’; for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all ‘the intent of the thoughts’” (1 Chron. 28:9, emphasis added)
For this reason the writer of Hebrews exhorted us not only to obey those over us, but also to be submissive. When Paul said, “let ever soul be subject to the governing authorities.” Obedience was coupled with a willing attitude.”
Looking at Hebrews 13:17 in the NIV it reads, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” We showed how you could be obedient and not submissive. The same is true for the reverse. You can be submissive and not be obedient.
You may remember the story we told weeks back of the parable of the man with two sons. One said he would work and then did not obey. Although, he had a willing attitude, he did not obey.
This is a common attitude in the church today. We smile politely and agree with authorities over us, but then we don’t obey because we don’t find it important to us or we don’t agree. We can call this nice rebellion.
It doesn’t matter if we rebel politely or whether we are blatant. Rebellion is rebellion. And neither is honored in the kingdom of God.
Good intentions wont get us anywhere. Its our obedience and submission that count when we stand before God.
Ok, so where does God draw the line? Does God expect us to obey no matter what they tell us to do? What if I am told to do something that is a sin? The Bible teaches us unconditional submission, but it does not teach us unconditional obedience. Remember submission deals with attitude. Obedience is doing what we are told. The only exception to obedience to authority is when that authority tells us to do something that directly contradicts what God has said in His word. In other words, if what they tell us to do is sin, but even in that type of situation we must maintain a humble and submitted attitude.
You know the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were told by King Nebuchadnezzar that when they heard the sound of an instrument they were to bow to an idol. You know that the punishment for not doing that was being thrown in the fiery furnace.
The boys would not bow to the idol as it was against God. When king Nebuchadnezzar confronted them as to why they refused this was their reply. “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God who we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, Your Majesty can be sure that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” (Dan 3:16-18)
Although they were going against the order of the king, they still spoke to him with respect. They addressed him as ‘Your Majesty’. They didn’t call him names or act irreverent. We must be submitted to authority even when we must disobey their command.
We see this in Peter’s instructions to wives: “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2
The same holds true. As wives we must be unconditionally submissive. And the only exception to obedience is when we are asked to do something directly against the Word of God.
An example is the wife answering the phone. If the husband doesn’t want to speak to the caller and says, “tell them I’m not home.” An appropriate response in the wife would be, “Honey, I’m not going to lie. Would you like me to tell him you’re not available?” Still having the right attitude but not compromising.
Peter went on to say in verses 3-6, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”
“Sarah’s reverence was evident in the way she honored Abraham as her master and obeyed. Master reflected her submissive attitude, and obedience showed she did not yield to fear. Fear is a terrible taskmaster. Fear taunts, ‘I cannot trust God in submitting to my husband or any other authority. I must protect myself!’ Let’s remember, God, not some power-hungry man, is the One who said to submit. As we obey Him, His protection becomes ours.”
Please hear this also that John shares as I find this vital information. “I have grieved upon hearing stories of women who took the command of unconditional submission and applied it to encompass unconditional obedience as well. I’ve heard cases as perverse as believing husbands who demanded their wives to watch lewd adult videos with them to provide sexual excitement, and the wives yielded because they thought they didn’t have scriptural recourse. I know of husbands who demanded their wives be dishonest for them, and they did. I’ve heard of husbands who forbade their wives from attending any church service, and the wives actually stopped attending. These directives are not to be obeyed because they violate scripture.
Let’s go further. I know of cases of husbands beating their children or wives, and the wives covering for their abuse. In other instances children were sexually molested, and the wives did nothing. This is a violation of every premise on which God establishes authority, and women in these situations need to understand that God would never want them to stand back and do nothing. If a husband is involved in life-threatening behavior, a wife should separate herself and the children from him and not return until she is sure there has been complete repentance.
Even David, a warrior and man of strength, did not hang around the palace when Saul was throwing javelins. He left and lived in the wilderness, but never lost his reverential attitude toward Saul’s authority. David’s submission to Saul’s authority did not cease, though he fled Saul’s presence and awaited either true repentance or the righteous judgment of God.”
Another good example, “The Sanhedrin commanded the disciples ‘not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But peter and John replied, “judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard”(Acts 4:18-20)’. How could they obey those leaders when Jesus had already told them, ‘God into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature’ (Mark 16:15)? They could not! The Sanhedrin had commanded the disciples to do something against the command of Jesus, so they respectfully refused. Here what Scripture records resulted from their decision: ‘And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all’ (Acts 4:33) Their fear of God brought great blessing and power.
Yet we see the disciple’s attitude of reverence of submission in Paul’s response toward the same Sanhedrin, when he was brought before them, his first words of defense were, ‘I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day’ (Acts 23:1). Upon hearing these words, the high priest Ananias commanded those who stood near Paul to strike him on the mouth. Paul then said, ‘God will strike you, you whitewashed wall!’ We then read: ‘And those who stood by said, “Do you revile God’s high priest?” Then Paul said, “ I did not know, brethren, that he was the high priest; for it is written, “You shall not speak evil of a ruler of your people”’(Acts 23:4-5).”
When he heard that he was speaking disrespectfully to a man in authority, he was repentant.
Then there was the story of Daniel. Where King Darius was tricked into signing a decree where no one could pray except to him. Daniel only prayed to God and those who tricked the king knew that, as well as that Daniel prayed 3 times a day.
When Daniel heard this, he did not stop praying. He did not obey the order. He went home and prayed, just as he always did.
Daniel’s disobedience was reported to the king, and he was thrown in the lion’s den. But God delivered him. God delivered Daniel and many others because they maintained their reverence, and continued in God’s ways.
Not everyone who obeyed and were submissive had pleasant outcomes. Some were tormented, and some killed. But their reward will be in heaven.
Let’s remember there are no gray areas in this matter. No matter the authority over us whether it be civil, family, church, or social, we must be submissive to those in authority positions over us. The only exception is when we are told by that authority to go directly against God’s Word.
Here is an example of what some would call a gray area. “My pastor told me not to counsel and pray for people during office hours, but that is not the love of God, and to not walk in love is sin, so I have to do it.”
First, let me ask, based on what we have learned tonight, is that an area where you can go against the person in authority?
Truth is the Pastor is not asking them to violate the word of God. Furthermore they are paid to type, file, do data processing, or some other form of labor, not pray. They should either get permission to pray for the ones that call, or direct them to someone who has the position or title of counselor. That is not a judgment call on the part of the person.
“But what if the authority in my life tells me to do something I don’t agree with? Or what if my authority tells me to do something clearly foolish? Or what if authority tells me to do the opposite of what I was shown in prayer?”
These we will cover on our next lesson.