<@soulful> I am going to open with a word of prayer
<littlejane> k
<@soulful> Lord thank you for bringing us all here tonight; we ask that your spirit will teach us and open our hearts to receive your word of truth.
<g4c> Yes lord
<@soulful> Thank you Father that you see all our needs and that you do not willingly withhold any good thing from us, you generously provide everything we need.
<littlejane> yes Lord
<@soulful> we ask that your hand be upon us as we raise up our children in the knowledge of you Lord and in obedience to your will.
<g4c> yes Father
<@soulful> We thank you Lord Jesus for sacrificing yourself on the cross and which makes it possible to approach our Father with confidence and sureness that He will hear us and respond. Thank you Lord, Amen
<@twohawks> amen
<littlejane> Amen
<DadMomSonDaughters> Amen
<g4c> Amen
<@soulful> Good evening folks…it's good to have you all here tonight J
<@soulful> I will be using excerpts from the book "Growing Kids God's Way" written by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo
<@soulful> Principles of Obedience
<@soulful> Ephesians 6:1 Colossians 3:20
<@soulful> Obedience is absolutely essential to proper family government. We can do all sorts of loving things for our kids but if they are continually disobedient, we will be thwarted in our efforts to train their hearts. How is a young child able to fulfill the command of
<@soulful> Exodus 20:12?
* @soulful ^NIV^: Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
<@soulful> sorry I forgot to post the other two scriptures lol
<littlejane> thats ok soulful
<DadMomSonDaughters> its ok sis
<DadMomSonDaughters> take your time
* @soulful []NIV[] Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
* @soulful <niv>: Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
<@soulful> sorry both that guys hehe
<@soulful> bout
<DadMomSonDaughters> no problem
<littlejane> No Problem at all
<@soulful> "honor Thy Father and Mother" Honoring one's parents is a command that remains constant throughout a child's life into adulthood. In the early years however, children demonstrate honor by obedience. As a child matures, his obedience out of duty evolves to a devotion out of submission.
<Rainbow> :)
<@soulful> What does obedience look like?
 <DadMomSonDaughters> Love
<@soulful> Genesis 22:2-3 story of Isaac
* @soulful *NIV*: Genesis 22:2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."
* @soulful *NIV*: Genesis 22:3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.
<@soulful> "honor Thy Father and Mother" Honoring one's parents is a command that remains constant throughout a child's life into adulthood. In the early years however,
<@soulful> Abraham did 3 things
<@soulful> 1) He rose up early
<@soulful> 2) He prepared himself
<@soulful> 3) He did that which God commanded him
<@soulful> Four characteristics of biblical obedience
<@soulful> 1) it is to be immediate
<@soulful> 2) it is to be complete
<@soulful> 3) without challenge
<@soulful> 4) without complaint
<@soulful> There will be many times when your child will reject or strongly oppose your reasonable instructions. What should you do? Teach him to obey according to the character of true obedience--immediately, completely,
<@soulful> without challenge, and without complaint
<@soulful> This is actually not as difficult as it sounds lol. In reality true obedience is usually more difficult for the parent than for the child. The child more often responds to the parent's resolve and nothing more. Therefore we as parents ought to train, encourage, correct and teach at a level of God's standard.
<@soulful> 1Samuel 15:22-23 obedience being better than sacrifice
<@soulful> God puts a premium on obedience J
* @soulful <NIV> 1 Samuel 15:22 But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
* @soulful <NIV> 1 Samuel 15:23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."
<@soulful> But I ask you how do we as parents sometimes undermine this process?
<@soulful> anyone care to speak?
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<@soulful> come on
<@soulful> :)
<DadMomSonDaughters> I give in
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<DadMomSonDaughters> tooooo much
<littlejane> mmmm
<@soulful> too much?
<Rainbow> Or by being inconsistent with the expectations.
<@twohawks> me too
<@soulful> yeah
<littlejane> I get frustrated and give up
<@twohawks> Im a pushover
<DadMomSonDaughters> laugh out loud littlejane I would too if I had your brew
<littlejane> or inconsistent in the consequence
<littlejane> Laughs Out Loud Ron
<@soulful> I have to admit I was a not a perfect parent lol and was inconsistent too sometimes
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<@soulful> I agree littlejane
<@soulful> How parents sometimes wrongly train to obedience
<@soulful> A) threatening/ repeating
<@soulful> B) bribing by the way the bible says "A bribe blinds the discerning and perverts the words of the righteous" (Exodus:23:8)
<@soulful> C) Negotiating in conflict
<g4c> I remember, "I am going to tell your daddy when he gets home."
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<littlejane> guilty, guilty.... and uhhh guilty
<DadMomSonDaughters> laugh out loud g4c
<@soulful> me too guilty
<Rainbow> And Daddy ALWAYS came home
<g4c> poor dad. lol
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<@soulful> hehe
<DadMomSonDaughters> hehehehe Rainbow
<littlejane> yup
<@soulful> oh I want to put up Exodus 23:8
<DadMomSonDaughters> k
* @soulful *Niv* Exodus 23:8 "Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds those who see and twists the words of the righteous.
<DadMomSonDaughters> Amen
<@soulful> ouch!
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<littlejane> wow
<littlejane> hi savednservn
<@soulful> Threatening/repeating parents….. and frankly guys I was guilty of this too with my own kids….first coaxes, then threatens, then bargains, then pretends to punish a little bit.
<@soulful> No child will respond to God's standard if parental resolve for true obedience is lacking.
<@soulful> Lack of moral commitment and resolve on the part of the parents undermines true obedience. How is it that a child will obey on the third time but not the first? The reason is that the parent is finally resolved to force that child to conform.
<DadMomSonDaughters> welcome savednservn please join us for bible study in progress
<@soulful> this was my most common mistake
<Nickname6> my problem is a lot of times I'll say your grounded from TV or something and then "he will sit in there around me talking and he talks and talks and drives me batty  <savednservn> thanks
<@soulful> hiya savednservn
<littlejane> Laughs Out Loud Nickname6
<littlejane> I hear ya
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<@soulful> ok number 2
<littlejohn> hmmmm Nickname6 Sounds like My Kids
<Nickname6> well after listening to 50 or so other kids all day I want a little bit of peace and quiet
<@soulful> Bribing parents….Bribing parents barter with their child in hopes of gaining obedience. They use bribes threats or even scare tactics to gain temporary control. A bride might be… coaxing the child to be good in a store for a treat later or even threatening to take
<DadMomSonDaughters> welcome back Rainbow
<DadMomSonDaughters> ak
<@soulful> the treat away…or just plain scaring the kid with I will send you to an orphanage if you're not good…All are bribery tactics lol Exodus 23:8
<littlejohn> Welcome Back Rosie
<@soulful> bribery doesn't always feel like bribery when we do it lol
<littlejane> I use the Indians LOL jk
<DadMomSonDaughters> i did that with lil Ronnie
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<savednservn> what is the difference between bribery and rewarding?
<savednservn> difference?
<DadMomSonDaughters> told him I was going to send him to the orphanage...it messed him up.....I don't say things like that no more
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud I just accidentally turned off my program
<@soulful> technical difficulties
<Rainbow> Nope, no kid is secure enough to hear that
<@soulful> stand by
<littlejane> bribery is when you use something to gain your way
* DadMomSonDaughters says PLEASE STAND BY!
* savednservn stands by
<g4c> popcorn break?
<littlejane> reward is when you give a prize for job well done
<savednservn> ok
<Nickname6> Laughs Out Loud
<littlejane> at least that’s what I think it means
* DadMomSonDaughters says you all really don’t have to STAND...YOU MAY SIT
<savednservn> grins
<Nickname6> ok good DadMomSonDaughters I'm tired
<g4c> a reward is earned. a bribe isn’t.
<@soulful> ok number 3
<DadMomSonDaughters> hehehehe Nickname6
<@soulful> are we ready for three?
<DadMomSonDaughters> yup
<littlejane> yup
<@soulful> yes exactly g4c
<DadMomSonDaughters> yup yup
<@soulful> ok
<@soulful> Negotiating in conflict parents…many parents insist on the standard of complete obedience while giving instructions but are willing to negotiate the line of compliance once in the heat of conflict. Example Nathan is told to pick up his toys but wines and says he isn't done with them yet
<littlejane> ok well 5 more min lol
<savednservn> ouch
* savednservn cringes
<@soulful> Mom says no, I want the toys picked up now. Nathan responds saying I will pick them up after lunch. No Nathan now….so Nathan puts all the toys away except for two trucks…is he obeying?
<littlejane> guilty again
<littlejane> nope
<@twohawks> no
<DadMomSonDaughters> hmmmm
<Rainbow> nope
<littlejane> or mom does worse...
<@soulful> is he obeying? Finally the two come to an agreement to let Nathan keep one truck at the table. The issue is not whether playing with trucks at the table is right or wrong but whether his Mom is always negotiating for something less than her original instructions. When parents become characterized by continually negotiating a compromise, they are undermining their attempts to bring a child to first time obedience.
<littlejane> she picks them up because she doesn't want the hassle
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<@soulful> I did that too many times to count
<littlejane> hi boo`boo
<DadMomSonDaughters> welcome boo`boo please join us for bible study
<@soulful> anyway we will go on lol
<@soulful> almost done
<littlejane> k
<@soulful> Principles of instruction
<@soulful> Principle 1) When you speak to a child in a way that requires an answer or action, you should expect and immediate and complete response. Children will rise to whatever level is expected and encouraged.
<@soulful> also it is a good idea to have your child respond by having them answer with a yes Mom or Dad
<@soulful> hi mommy3
<littlejane> hi mommy3
<littlejohn> Hello mommy3
<@soulful> and even......
<@soulful> make them look up into your eyes
* savednservn nods
<@mommy3> * Hi There * everyone !!
<savednservn> howdy mommy3
<Nickname6> hi mommy3
<@soulful> the process of saying and looking helps the child to commit to the action
<g4c> hi mommy3
<savednservn> it affects their attitude too
<@soulful> we are having a bible study mommy3
<@soulful> join in please
<@soulful> yeah I think so too savednservn
<@soulful> Principle 2) Never give a command unless you intend for it to be obeyed. Say exactly what you mean and mean what you say.
<@soulful> A child quickly learns the habit of disregarding his parent's instruction if the parent gives the impression that he is not committed to enforcing it.
<savednservn> ouch
<savednservn> again
<@soulful> Laughs Out Loud
<Boo> you also
<Nickname1> advice on teenagers
<@soulful> Principle 3) When a child continually disobeys, he is in sin. But when we as parents continually reinforce that disobedience, we are in sin. Parents cannot consider willful and direct disobedience as trivial. Obedience and Disobedience are moral acts not individual preferences.
<@soulful> yikes them are strong words
<@soulful> ok in closing...............
<@soulful> Summary
<@soulful> Disobedient behavior in children is not a mystery. They are often led into insubordination by us, their loving caregivers.
<@soulful> A child's feeling of acceptance and approval are directly related to the standard of behavior required by his parents.
<@soulful> When a child meets a high , established standard and gets parent approval, obedience becomes attractive, and the child knows his parents accept him. It is a good thing and God blesses the child also for it. "that his days may be long on the earth"
<savednservn> but they're true soulful, and ultimately, the way they obey or disobey their parents is the way they will obey or disobey God...what do we wasn’t to teach them
<@soulful> Amen savednservn
* savednservn pretends to be a good mom
<savednservn> lol
<littlejane> Laughs Out Loud
<@soulful> and that is what raising them to God's standard is all about
<savednservn> yep
<@soulful> it's not our standard but God's
<@twohawks> right
<@soulful> Praise you mighty Jesus!
<savednservn> do ya'll encounter a lot of resistance from other people?
<@soulful> we know we are not perfect parents
* g4c "Lord we Praise Your Holy Name and Thank you for all You have done for us !! <@soulful> but you are our perfect Father
<@soulful> and we entrust our children to you Lord
<@soulful> and ask that you be their parent too
<savednservn> Yes Jesus
<g4c> I want to say this.
<@soulful> work your will in us as parents too
<savednservn> protect them from our errors!
<@soulful> ok
<DadMomSonDaughters> yes g4c?
<@soulful> g4c
<g4c> I heard my momma praying for her children.
<@soulful> oh that is good g4c
<@soulful> me too
<Rainbow> Good Bible study, soulful