Bait of Satan ~ 4
My Father, My Father
By John Bevere

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It is one thing to experience rejection and malice from a brother or sister, but it is entirely different to experience rejection and malice from a father.
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In the last lesson we saw how Joseph’s brothers sought to destroy him. We saw the pain he experienced from this betrayal. Perhaps you are in a similar situation. You’ve been betrayed by those closest to you, people from whom you wanted love and encouragement.

In this lesson we will deal with a situation more painful than a betrayal by a brother. It is one thing to experience rejection and malice from a brother or sister, but it is entirely different to experience rejection and malice from a father. When I speak of fathers, I am not just referring to a biological father but to any leader God puts over us. These are the people we thought would love, train, nurture, and care for us.

A Love-Hate Relationship

To examine an example of a father who betrayed, let’s look at the relationship between King Saul and David (see 1 Samuel 16-31). Their lives touched even before they met, as Samuel, the prophet of God, anointed David to be the next king of Israel. David must have been overwhelmed with excitement, thinking, “This is the same man who anointed Saul. I am really going to be king!”

Back at the palace, Saul was being tormented by an evil spirit because he had disobeyed God. His only relief came as someone played the harp. Saul’s servants began to look for a young man who could sit in his presence and minister to him. One of the king’s servants suggested David, the son of Jesse. King Saul sent for David and asked him to come to the palace and minister to him.

David must have thought, “God is already bringing to pass His promise through the prophet. Surely I’ll win the favor of the king. This must be my entry-level position.”

Time passed, and David’s father asked him to bring refreshments to his older brothers, who were at war with the Philistines. Upon arriving at the battle lines, David saw the Philistine champion, Goliath, mocking the army of God and learned that this had gone on for forty days. He found out that the king had offered his daughter’s hand in marriage to the man who defeated this giant.

David went before the king and requested permission to fight. He killed Goliath and won Saul’s daughter. By then he had won Saul’s favor and was brought into the palace to live with the king. Jonathan, Saul’s oldest son, made a covenant of everlasting friendship with David. In everything Saul gave David to do, the hand of God was on him, and it prospered. The king requested that he eat at the table with his own sons.

David was thrilled. He was living in the palace, eating at the king’s table, married to the king’s daughter, friends with Jonathan, and successful in all his campaigns. He was even winning the favor of the people. He could see the prophecy unfolding before his eyes.

Saul favored David over all his other servants. He had become a father to him. David was sure Saul would mentor and train him and one day, with great honor, put him on the throne. David was rejoicing in God’s faithfulness and goodness.

But in one day everything changed.

As Saul and David returned from battle, side by side, the women from all the cities of Israel came out dancing and singing: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” This infuriated Saul, and from that day forward he despised David. Twice, as David played his harp for him, Saul tried to kill him.

The Bible says that Saul hated David because he knew God was with David but not with him. David was forced to run for his life. With nowhere else to go, he ran to the wilderness.

“What is happening?” David wondered. “The promise was unfolding, and now it is shattered. The man who is my mentor is trying to kill me. What can I do? Saul is God’s anointed servant. With him against me, what chance do I have? He’s the king, God’s man, over God’s nation. Why is God allowing this?”

Saul chased David from wilderness to wilderness, cave to cave, accompanied by three thousand of Israel’s finest warriors. They had one purpose: to destroy David.

At this point the promise was just a shadow. David no longer lived at the palace nor ate at the king’s table. He inhabited damp caves and ate the scraps of wilderness beasts. He no longer rode at the king’s side but was hunted by the men who once fought by his side. There was no warm bed or servants to attend him, no compliments in the royal court. His bride was given to another. He knew the loneliness of a man without a country.

Notice that God, no the devil, placed David under the care of Saul. Why would God not only allow this but plan it? Why was favor dangled before David’s eyes only to have it abruptly taken away? This was a prime opportunity for David to be offended -- not only with Saul, but also with God. All the unanswered questions increased the temptation to question God’s wisdom and plan.

Saul was so determined to kill this young man, at any cost that his madness increased. He became a desperate man. Priests in the city of Nob provided David with shelter, food, and Goliath’s sword. They knew nothing about David’s running from Saul and thought he was on a mission for the king. They inquired of the Lord on David’s behalf and sent him on his way.

When Saul found out, he was furious. He killed eighty-five innocent priests of the Lord and put the entire city of Nob to the sword -- every man, woman, child, nursing infant, cow, donkey, and sheep. He carried the judgment against them -- the innocent -- that he was supposed to carry against the Amalekites. He was a murderer. How could God have ever put His Spirit on such a man?

At one point Saul learned David was in the wilderness of En Gedi and set out after him with three thousand warriors. During their journey they stopped to rest at the entrance of a cave, not knowing that David was hiding in the back. Saul removed his outer robe and laid it aside. David quietly slipped out of his hiding place, cut off a piece of the discarded robe and crept away without being noticed.

After Saul left the cave, David bowed down to the ground and cried out after him: “My father, see! Yes, see the corner of your robe in my hand!… know and see that there is neither evil nor rebellion in my hand, and I have not sinned against you. Yet you hunt my life to take it” (1 Samuel 24:11)

David’s cry to Saul was, “My father, my father!” To put it plainly, he was crying, “See my heart! Be a father to me. I need a leader to train me, not to destroy me!” Even while Saul was trying to kill him, David’s heart still burned with hope.

Where Are The Fathers?

I have seen this cry in countless men and women in the body of Christ. Most of them are young and with a strong call of God in their lives. They cry out for a father, a man to disciple, love, support, and encourage them. This is why God said He would “turn the hearts of the fathers [leaders] to the children [people], and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse” (Mal. 4:6).

Our nation lost its fathers (dads, leaders, or ministers) in the 1940s and 1950s, and today our condition is getting worse. Not unlike Saul, many leaders in our homes, corporations, and churches are more concerned with their goals than with their offspring.

Because of this attitude, these leaders view God’s people as resources to serve their vision, instead of seeing the vision as the vehicle to serve the people. The success of the vision justifies the cost of the wounded lives and shattered people. Justice, mercy, integrity, and love are compromised for success. Decisions are based on money, numbers, and results.

This opens the door to treatment such as David received -- after all, Saul had a kingdom to protect. This type of treatment is acceptable in the leaders’ minds because they are pursuing the furtherance of the gospel.

How many leaders have cut off men under them because of suspicion? Why are those leaders suspicious? Because they are not serving God. They are serving a vision. Like Saul, they are insecure in their calling, and that breeds jealousy and pride. They recognize qualities in people that they know are godly, and they are willing to use those people as long as it benefits them. Saul enjoyed the success of David until he saw it as a threat to him. He then demoted David and watched for a reason to destroy him.

I have talked with countless young men and women who cried out for accountability. They wanted to be submitted to a leader who would disciple them. They felt isolated and alone. They were seeking someone to father them. But God allowed them to go through rejection. That’s because God wanted to do in them what He had done in David. Listen carefully to what the Spirit is saying.

David was concerned that Saul believed he was rebellious and evil. David must have searched his heart, saying, “Where have I gone wrong? How was Saul’s heart turned against me so quickly?” That is why he cried out, “Someone urged me to kill you, but I said no. I only cut off the corner of your robe so that you could know and see that there is neither evil nor rebellion in my hand” (see 1 Sam. 24:11). David thought if he could prove his love for Saul, Saul would restore him to favor, and the prophecy would be fulfilled.

People who have been rejected by a father or leader tend to take all the blame on themselves. They are imprisoned by tormenting thoughts of “What did I do?” and “Was my heart impure?” They sometimes wonder, “Who turned the heart of my leader against me?” Then they constantly try to prove their innocence to their leaders. They think that if they can only show their loyalty and value they will be accepted. Sadly, the more they try, the more rejected they feel.

Who Will Avenge Me?

Saul acknowledged David’s goodness when he saw David could have killed him and did not. So he and his men left. David must have thought, “Now the king will restore me. Now the prophecy will come to pass. Surely he sees my heart and will treat me better now.”

Not so fast, David. Only a short time later, men reported to Saul that David was in the hills of Hachilah. Saul went after him again with the same three thousand soldiers. I’m sure this devastated David. He realized it wasn’t a misunderstanding but that Saul was intentionally, without provocation, seeking his life. How rejected he must have felt. Saul knew his heart and still marched against him.

David, along with Abishai, slipped into Saul’s camp. Not one guard saw them because God had put them all in a deep sleep. These two men sneaked through the entire army to where Saul was sleeping.

Abishai pleaded with David. “God had delivered your enemy into you hand this day. Now therefore, please let me strike him at once with the spear, right to the earth; and I will not have to strike him a second time!” (1 Sam. 26:8).

Abishai had very good reasons why he thought David should allow him to kill Saul. First, Saul had murdered eighty-five innocent priests and their families -- in cold blood!

Second, he was out with an army of three thousand to kill David and his followers. If you don’t kill the enemy first, Abishai reasoned, he will surely kill you. It is self-defense. Every court of law allows for that!

Third, God through Samuel had anointed David as the next king of Israel. David should claim his inheritance if he didn’t want to end up a dead man without the prophecy’s ever being fulfilled.

Fourth, God put this entire army into a deep sleep so that David and Abishai could walk right up to Saul. Why else would God do this? To Abishai it seemed David would never get a chance like this again.

All these reasons sounded good. They made sense, and David was receiving the encouragement from another brother. So if David was the least bit offended, he would have felt totally justified and allowed Abishai to put a spear through Saul.

Listen to David’s response: “Do not destroy him; for who can stretch out his hand against the Lord’s anointed, and be guiltless?… as the Lord lives, the Lord shall strike him, or his day shall come to die, or he shall go out to battle and perish. The Lord forbid that I should stretch out my hand against the Lord’s anointed” (1 Sam 26:9-11).

David would not kill Saul even though Saul had murdered innocent people and wanted to murder David as well. David would not avenge himself but left it in the hands of God.

Of course, it would have been easier to put an end to it right there -- easy for David and for the people of Israel. He knew the nation was like a flock of sheep without a shepherd. He knew a wolf was robbing them for his own selfish desires. It was hard for him not to defend himself, but it was possibly harder not to deliver the people he loved from a mad king. David made this decision even though he knew Saul’s only comfort was the thought of his destruction.

David had proved his purity of heart when he spared Saul the first time. Yet even when David had a second chance to kill Saul, he would not touch him. Saul was anointed of the Lord, and David left him in God’s hand to judge.

How many people today have a heart like David’s? We no longer kill with physical swords but ravage each other with a sword of another kind -- the tongue. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).

Churches split, families divide, marriages shatter, and love dies, crushed by an onslaught of words launched in hurt and frustration. Offended by friends, family, and leaders, we take aim with words sharpened by bitterness and anger. Even though information may be factual and accurate, motives are impure.

Proverbs 6:16-19 says that sowing discord or separation among brethren is an abomination to the Lord. When we repeat something with the intention of separating or damaging relationships or reputations -- even though it is true -- it is still an affront to God.

Is God Using Me to Expose My Leader’s Sins?

For seven years I served full-time in the ministry of helps and pastured youth before God released my wife and me to our present ministry. While I was a youth pastor, there was a man who did not like me or the message I preached. Normally that would not bother me, but this man had a position of authority over me.

I believed God had told me to bring a strong word of purity and boldness to the youth people, and his son was in my group.

Conviction was stirring in this young man’s heart. One day he came to us crying. He was upset because he felt the lifestyle he saw at home fell short of what I was challenging him and the other young people to follow.

This incident and other personality conflicts seemed to make his father determined to get rid of me. He would go to the head pastor to stir his anger against me with false accusations. Then he would turn around and tell me how the senior pastor was against me but that he was standing up for me. There were assorted critical staff memos, none which bore my name, but they identified me in other ways. He would smile to my face, but his intention was to destroy me.

Several members of the youth group said they had heard I was to be fired. It was this man’s son spreading the news, not in a malicious way, but just because he was repeating what he’d heard at home. I was angry and confused. I went to this man, and he admitted saying this, but he said he was just repeating the senior pastor’s thoughts.

Months went by, and there seemed to be no way to alleviate the situation. He had even severed all contact between my senior pastor and me. This was not only the case for me but for all the pastors that were not in his favor.

My family was under constant pressure, never knowing whether we would remain at the church or be put out. We had bought a house, my wife was pregnant, and we had nowhere to go. I did not want to send out resumes. I believed God had brought me to that church, and I was staying with no plan B.

My wife was a nervous wreck. “Honey, I know they are going to fire you. Everyone is telling me they are.”

“They didn’t hire me, and they can’t fire me without God’s approval,” I told her. She thought I was denying the circumstances and begged me to quit.

Finally the news came that the decision to fire me had been made. The senior pastor announced to the church that changes were coming to the youth group. I still had not spoken with him about the conflict with the leader he had put over me. I was scheduled to meet with him and that man the next day. God very specifically impressed upon me not to defend myself.

When I met with my pastor the next day, I was surprised to find the pastor sitting alone in his office. He looked at me and said, “John, God sent you to this church. I am not letting you go.”

I was relieved. God had protected me at the last moment.

“Why is this man after you?” he asked me. “Please go to him and make it right between you and him.”

Shortly after that meeting I received written evidence of a decision the leader had made regarding my area of responsibility. It exposed his true motives. I was ready to take it to the senior pastor.

That day I paced the floor and prayed for forty-five minutes, trying to overcome the uncomfortable feeling I had. I kept saying, “God, this man has been dishonest and wicked. He must be exposed. He is a destructive force in this ministry. I must tell the pastor the way he really is!”

I further justified my intentions to expose him. “Everything I am reporting is fact and documented, not emotional. If he is not stopped, his wickedness will infiltrate this entire church.”

Finally, in frustration, I blurted out, “God, You don’t want me to expose him, do You?”

When I spoke those words, the peace of God flooded my heart. I shook my head in amazement. I knew God did not want me to do anything, so I threw away the evidence. Later, when I could look at the scene more objectively, I realized I had wanted to avenge myself more than protect anyone in the ministry. I had reasoned myself into believing my motives were unselfish. My information was accurate, but my motives were impure.

Time passed, and one day as I was praying outside the church before office hours, the man drove up to the church. God impressed upon me to go to him and humble myself. Immediately I was defensive. “No, Lord, he needs to come to me. He is the one causing all the problems.”

I continued to pray, but again the Lord insisted that I go to him immediately and humble myself. I knew it was God. I phoned him from my office and went to his. But what I said and how I said it was much different from how it would have been if God hadn’t dealt with me.

With all sincerity I asked his forgiveness. “I have been critical and judgmental of you,” I confessed.

He immediately softened, and we talked for an hour. From that day forward his attacks against me stopped, even though a problem continued between him and some of the other pastors.

Six months later, while I was ministering out of the country, all the wrong this man had done was exposed to the senior pastor. It had nothing to do with me but with other areas of the ministry. What he was doing was much worse than what I knew. He was fired immediately.

Judgment had come, but not by my hand. The very thing he tried to do to me happened to him. However, when it happened to him, I was not happy. I grieved for him and his family. I understood his pain -- I had gone through it myself at his hands.

Because I had forgiven him six months previously, I now loved him and did not wish this for him. If he had been fired when I was angry with him a year earlier, I would have rejoiced. I knew then I was truly free from the offense I’d harbored. Humility and refusing to avenge myself were the keys that freed me from my prison of offense.

A year later I saw him in an airport. I was overwhelmed with the love of God. I ran over to where he was standing and hugged him. I was genuinely happy when he told me things were well with him. If I had never gone to him and humbled myself months earlier in his office, I wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eye that day at the airport. Several years have passed since I’ve seen him, but I feel only love and a sincere desire to see him in God’s will.

David was wise when he chose to let God be his judge. You ask, “Whom did God use to judge Saul, His servant?” The Philistines. Saul, along with his sons, died battling them. When the news reached David, he did not celebrate. He mourned.

One man boasted to David that he had killed Saul. He had hoped this news would win his favor, but it had an opposite effect. “How was it you were not afraid to put forth your hand to destroy the Lord’s anointed?” David asked. He ordered that the man be executed (see 2 Sam. 1:14-15).

David then composed a song for the people of Judah to sing in honor of Saul and his sons. He charged the people not to proclaim it in the streets of the Philistine cities lest the enemy rejoice. He proclaimed no rain or crops in the place where Saul was slain. He called for all of Israel to weep over Saul. This is not the heart of an offended man. An offended man would have said, “He got what he deserved!”

David went even further. He did not kill the remaining seed of the house of Saul. Instead he showed kindness to them. He gave land and food to them and granted a descendant a seat at the king’s table. Does this sound like an offended man?

Even though David was rejected by the one who should have fathered him, he remained loyal even after Saul’s death. It is easy to be loyal to a leader or father who loves you, but what about one who is out to destroy you? Will you be a man or woman after the heart of God, or will you seek to avenge yourself?