Preparing To Minister To The Wounded

In the short span of two years, Joel watched his church shrink to less than half its size. During that time, he noticed a woman who embodied what any pastor would have been thrilled to see in a church member -- someone who seemed supportive, humble, prayerful, and sincere. One Saturday morning, however, Joel’s eyes were painfully opened.

The woman, who was a divorcee, arrived at a couple’s marriage retreat and forcibly tried to take over the microphone during one session. Joel could not figure out what had come over her.

A few weeks later, his reservations about the woman were fortified when he opened the mail and found a letter from the woman’s friend. Worded as if God had dictated the letter, the writer said the divorcee was Joel’s true spiritual mate and strongly insinuated that he should leave his wife, who was “holding him back spiritually.”

Since the divorcee did not actually write the letter, Joes was confused about how to confront this attack on his marriage.

One morning after a prayer meeting, he was having coffee with a small group that included the divorcee. She offered some “directions from God.” When he did not accept them, she became angry. Her emotions escalated within minutes. Suddenly she slammed her fist down on the table spilling cups of coffee, and left.

A few weeks later, when a prophetic ministry came to the church for a conference, the prophet gave a word to the pastor. He warned about a so-called “spiritual mate” who was trying to rise up in the church. Surprised by the revelation, Joel spoke privately to the woman about this prophetic word.

The following day in church, the divorcee stood and walked to the front, calmly and firmly interrupting the prophet who was speaking. Cloaked in false humility, she read a written and slanderous rebuke. By that time, the pastor had enough.

He told the divorcee she was wrong in her assessment and he wanted to see her in his office the next day. But she never showed up. She left the church, but the damage had been done. Within a year, the church died.

Appraise The Condition of Your Heart

Confronting this spirit is not as easy as it may seem. It is hard to diagnose, due to its many faces. One minute, it can appear prayerfully submissive and the next it can act bold and brash. Or it may simply appear to be concerned for the well-being of the church. Like an octopus with eight spindly arms, this spirit is a nightmare to dislodge.

Before confronting someone with a Jezebel spirit, a pastor must first assess his or her own personal and spiritual condition. Danger lies in being tempted to react defensively and to misuse your power.

If a pastor feels intimidated by previous encounters with a Jezebel spirit, future scenarios may leave him or her feeling bitter, resentful, and angry. If these feelings exist, it simply signals that the pastor is not ready to effectively deal with this spirit.

Before going further, the pastor may need to appoint someone with wisdom, discernment, and spiritual authority, as well as someone who is above being influenced by seduction to help. This may require that a pastor look for a specialist in deliverance ministry. There are a growing number of ministries that specialize in such concerns as this.

Those who are going to address the Jezebel spirit operating through a person must first pause and assess their own spiritual condition. Ask yourself: Are you feeling any jealousy, strife, envy, or malice toward a past or present authority figure in your life? Do you harbor any hidden feelings of rejection or being overlooked?

Such feelings may lead you to overreact to the Jezebel spirit. Until these attitudes are overcome, addressing a spirit of insubordination and rebellion in another cannot be fully or powerfully accomplished. In addition, there are other issues to be dealt with.

Deal With Your Frustration

…you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. ~ Galatians 6:1

If a pastor has not dealt immediately with each issue that has arisen, they must deal with their frustration and anger that may have mounted. Frankly, no one likes to be controlled by another person. If a pastor has been wounded by someone with a Jezebel spirit, then he or she is an ideal candidate for mishandling a ministry situation. Scripture warns us:

For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ~ James 1:20

Since an individual with a Jezebel spirit often uses criticism and accusation, such demonic spirits cannot be driven out by a pastor who reacts in like manner. A pastor must first confront and deal with his or her own critical and accusing spirit.

Do Not Retaliate

When control and manipulation are evidenced in a pastor’s life, he or she will become defenseless against a Jezebel spirit. In counteracting manipulation with manipulation, the pastor will have failed to walk in the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Moreover, God does not honor our actions when we return evil for evil.

Whenever we retaliate this way, our anger has twice the impact. First, we lash out because we are angry with ourselves for allowing the wound to remain in our soul.

Second, we react because we are angry with the person who manifests the same propensity toward sin. We are often guilty of attacking the very weaknesses in others that are evidenced in our lives.

When pastors feel insecure or uncertain of how to handle a situation, they may resort to intimidation. They do this to maintain control. Intimidation, however, will never bring true repentance or restoration, which should always be our goal.

Intimidation will only produce a temporary remorse, feigned repentance, or withdrawal. Consequently, intimidation will abort any sincere opportunity to minister healing to a wounded person.

Attempting to create fear in someone else by appearing more powerful will only complicate the problem. It will drive a pastor to badger, belittle, and attempt to “back the person into a corner.” Such methods will only birth more hostility. Or it will provoke the individual to stir up slander or plan acts of violence and rage.

When a pastor reacts to a Jezebelite in anger, the Jezebelite will begin to appear to cower. Such individuals will portray themselves as being a victim and you as being an ogre. This usually happens whenever others are present to witness your angry outburst, which will make it seem as if the Jezebelite is the underdog. If you haven’t already experienced this, you will. It is only a matter of time.

Check The Mirror

Instinctively, individuals with a Jezebel spirit will often mirror a pastor’s manner of operation. If the pastor is self-promoting, such individuals may feel the freedom to promote their own gifts and abilities.

If the leader is domineering, individuals may see this as granting permission to maintain the upper hand at all times with others. If a domineering pastor clashes with such strong-willed Jezebels, a fierce and ugly battle with arise.

I recommend that a pastor focus his or her attention on opposing the demonic stronghold in the person while demonstrating love toward the person. Any confrontation must be done in love in order to restore the Jezebelite.

Only a loving confrontation will induce an individual to experience brokenness. He or she will need to experience godly sorrow that leads to repentance. If you face resistance by the Jezebelite, avoid the tendency to react scornfully. Remember, you are not wrestling against flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness (Ephesians 6:12).

Ask God to search your heart further. Then respond with great strength and determination to help the individual repent. If you are defensive or reactive, the Jezebelite may detect your insecurity and respond with a mask of meekness meant to disarm you.

Your confidence must be in the Lord. Believing that God has appointed you as a shepherd over the flock will enable you to act valiantly and with compassion.

Guard Against Transference

Memories of neglect from a mother, from a prior romantic relationships, or from fluctuations in a marriage influence a pastor’s ability to communicate and confront. Jezebelites will usually sense a pastor’s bitterness or areas of unresolved wounds.

Therefore, a pastor must guard against transferring unconscious and unsettled issues about a grandmother, mother, sister, or spouse to individuals operating under a Jezebel spirit.

Suspicion, strife, and vain imagination are spirits of witchcraft. If a pastor to eradicate anyone who seems unsubmissive. However suspicion, strife, and vain imagination are spirits of witchcraft. If a pastor is tempted to operate in these ways, such spirits may obtain a foothold in him or her.

A pastor will not be able to overcome a Jezebel spirit until freed of these heart issues. Furthermore, demonic spirits may attack a pastor or leader who arrogantly or smugly attacks a Jezebel spirit.

To operate in the wrong spirit is sometimes described as operating in the power of the soul. Whenever we use our soul to conquer another’s soul, we fail to get God’s needed counsel to gain victory.

Only by exercising the fruits of the Holy Spirit -- love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control -- can the power of the soul be conquered. Remember, a spiritual touch can produce eternal change in another. Trying to use the soul in this manner will bring disaster to a pastor, his or her family, and the church.

A pastor must keep in mind that he or she is dealing with dark powers. This battle is not merely with a person. The enemy’s success distorts our thinking and produces a spirit of fear, suspicion, or accusation in our hearts.

The Jezebel spirit operates under the power of the soul. If you operate under the same power, you inflate the demonic spirit and it now controls both of you.

A Tragic Encounter

Shortly after his 40th birthday, Martin was meeting with the couple from his church he was convinced they operated with a Jezebel spirit. It was their second meeting and Martin had invited the elders.

Although the first meeting had been volatile, Martin was prepared for this confrontation. He was determine the couple would not make him look bad, although they had threatened to do so.

Secretly, Martin hated confrontation. He avoided it. But he remembered two other occasions when he had failed to address this issue and the results had been devastating -- two church splits. The last one had cost Martin his position in a large prestigious church in another state.

Martin made a resolve that he would never let such a thing happen again. he would snuff out any nonsense before It got worse. Tonight, the elders would witness this couple’s hostile personal agenda just as he had in their previous meeting.

Two hours later, Martin sat with his face buried in his hands. He was deeply frustrated. Nothing had changed. No admission of guilt had been made by the couple. Furthermore, they showed no remorse for their actions. Instead, they acted coy and innocent. They even accused Martin of misunderstanding their words and actions.

During the meeting, the couple often said they were only trying to serve God. With tears running down their faces, they reminded Martin and the elders of all the times they had helped him and the church. soft-spoken and seemingly humble, the couple questioned Martin’s motives and claimed he was turning a mole hill into a mountain.

They had turned the tables on Martin. Listening to them, Martin even became confused and began to wonder if they were right. Perhaps his own fear and insecurity drove him to point his finger at them.

After the couple left, the elders further probed Martin about his accusations. They began to side with the couple. They also speculated about the reason for Martin’s charges. Martin saw doubt creep into their faces. They were puzzled about his discernment and leadership skills.

Three months later, the couple stood up during the church service and demanded Martin’s resignation. They listed their reasons and worded their accusations as if God had spoken. When Martin refused to resign, they shouted “Ichabod,” meaning “the glory has departed from Israel“.

Then, they marched out of the church. 80 church members filed out with them. Two months later, Martin took a sabbatical. Sadly, he never returned to the ministry again.

When Ministering to Others

You will need to encourage a person who has repented from using at Jezebel spirit to continue taking new steps forward. He or she must be encouraged to keep renewing his or her mind, learning to recognize and adopt God’s way of looking at things.

Activities that restore feelings of self-worth should be encouraged. Frequently, these individuals have a great desire to contribute any worthwhile way. Servanthood, with healthy boundaries, is a key to restoration.

However, their serving others should not be confused with their having authority. To give them authority at this time would be tantamount to giving an alcoholic a drink.

All areas of rebellion will need to be addressed. In an attitude of meekness, amends will need to be made in order to close the door to future inroads by the enemy.

Suggested Steps for Confrontation

For pastors who must confront an individual who operates with the Jezebel spirit, here are my suggestions:

1. Seek counsel about any personal blind spots or weaknesses you have from those who are spiritually mature.

2. Pray before you speak in any confrontation. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal hidden issues. If you allow the Holy Spirit to do His work, it is amazing how issues will surface that had not been previously known.

3. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom to discern what is spiritual, by discerning what demonic spirits the individual has embraced. Ask for discernment about what is natural or from the person’s upbringing, such as harsh parental issues.

4. Avoid becoming angry at all costs! Keep calm. Do not overreact or make the issue larger than it is.

5. Do not ignore the problem! It will not disappear.

6. From the moment a problem is suspected, document all third-party information. Record dates, times, places, and what was said. Otherwise, trying to piece together tidbits of information will only lead to the person’s denial.

7. During a confrontation, always have someone in the room with you.

8. Confront each issue with grace, but with firmness and candor. Be specific. You must explain the problems. However to not make the mistake of revealing names and specific accusations.

9. Get permission from third parties to use all testimonies, along with their names, in the meeting. If you do not, the Jezebelite will deny ever having said such things.

10. Tape record the meeting. Be sure to let the Individual know that you are taping the meeting. Set the tape recorder in the open for all to see.

If you follow these suggestions, be prepared for Jezebel to repent and apologize with great passion. However, do not be surprised when Jezebel, whom you thought had repented, recoils and strikes again with greater vengeance. If that happens, simply repeat the above process of confrontation. If the person will not hear you the second time, then you must remove him or her from the church.

Red Flags

Here are some early warning signs that pastors, in hindsight, have shared with me. Pastors may want to keep alert for these phrases that could indicate a storm is brewing on the horizon.

1. “I just want to be your friend.” More than likely, people who say these things will have expectations that you will never be able to meet.

2. “I just want to help you get to where God has called you.” In other words, “you cannot get to your destiny without me.” Beware!

3. “There are no strings attached to my help. I just want to serve.” However, you’ll find lots of hidden strings.

4. “You can trust me. I will always support you.” Such people will support you as long as you do what they say!

5. “You do not acknowledge my gifting.” People like this are asking you for more authority in the church.

6. “You do not understand me.” This is a veiled cry for you to spend more time with them than you have available.

7. “You intimidate me. I do not feel like I can talk to you.” In other words, “My goals should become your goals.”

8. “I have new revelation. The pastor has Old Testament understanding and I have New Testament understanding.” In other words, “I am right and you are wrong!”

9. “The Lord has given me some things that I need to share with you.” Duck! You’ll probably be receiving a harsh spanking.

10. “My last pastor did not know how to use me or my gifts.” In other words, they are saying, “Let me have my way.”

For Our Good

If handled rightly, an attack by a Jezebel spirit will ultimately strengthen a church. God uses the fiery battles of life to train, strengthen, and refine us (1 Peter 4:12-19). As God once told me: Small battles produce small victories, but great battles produce great victories -- in our lives, in our ministries, and in our churches.